A quick note as we leave paradise. We're in the Honolulu airport now, with a layover before our flight(s) home. What an amazing honeymoon we have had! I could not have imagined a more wonderful trip. There will be tons of photos and stories when I return and recover. I am SO glad I don't have to work until Monday!

Yes, I'm a Mrs. The day was beautiful, the things that went wrong didn't change a thing, and everyone looked absolutely their best. This is the only pic of me and my new husband so far, taken by a nice stranger as we took a "victory lap" around the gardens after the reception ended. More pics to come soon, though I am not sure if it will be before we leave for Hawaii tomorrow morning.

I know you're all wondering - the bridesmaids looked AMAZING. People were so stunned when they found out I knit the tops! I am very proud of that project. They all looked beautiful, 5 lbs. thinner (I swear) and happy, and said they were very comfortable. Yay!!!

I'll keep this brief. We had our not-rehearsal dinner tonight, and it was really fun, despite my impending sore throat/cold, and the lack of air conditioning at the restaurant on this muggy evening. Even Ryan's Mom seems to have boarded the wedding train, realizing there's no stopping it.

Right now I have to wind down so I can get some sleep. I think I'll pick up some of the mess that exploded in this place today. My last night as a single woman!

My colleagues are so sweet. Even though our team is slowly being broken up (at least and only temporarily, we hope), they all got together to take me to a nice 2-hour lunch today, to celebrate my last day at work as a single woman. They also gave me a very healthy gift certificate to Williams-Sonoma, and some cash on top of it that didn't make it into the gift certificate on time. It was very nice and I feel awfully loved.

I just cleaned off my desk. That was easy, since I was able to just toss a lot of client-related papers I will never need again. This is some good timing! It's 4:30 now, and I will probably leave fairly soon. I'm going to go down to Anthropologie and see if I can find a dress to wear to the dinner on Saturday night that isn't a rehearsal dinner because Jewish ceremonies don't include a rehearsal.''

I still need to find a good place to get a manicure on Saturday. Someplace in Cobble Hill or Brooklyn Heights would be better, since I don't want to have to come to Manhattan for that. Though the dinner is in Manhattan, so if I do it in the late afternoon, that'd be fine. Hmm. Actually, that would be the smartest thing, since the longer my nails are painted, the more they chip. And if I do it later on Saturday, then I can just go straight from manicure to dinner. OK, that's the tentative plan. I'm sure you enjoyed this excursion into the minutae of my nails.

I have to call Knitting Hands about that Tahki yarn for Alex's baby blanket. No news so far and I ordered it May 31st, told that it would be a week. OK, I just called (bet you didn't even notice I was gone - it's like magic, eh?). Everything I ordered is on backorder. Well, wouldn't it have been nice for them to friggin CALL ME and TELL ME? I asked them that and got no intelligible reply. I know Jackie had some problems with an order from them, too. I like to shop there, but I don't think I will ever order from them again. Now I can't get the fucking yarn before I go away and I can't start the baby blanket on my trip. Thanks a lot folks. I could've ordered it online and had it by now, but I wanted to patronize my LYS. Well, when my LYS can provide the materials I need when I need them, I will patronize them again. Grrr.

4 days. That's FOUR days, people.

Nothing to do at work. Literally nothing. I'm going to be assigned to a new client, but that won't happen until I return from my honeymoon. Who wants a brand-new writer 4 days before her wedding? No one! Tomorrow is actually my last day, and my team is taking me out to lunch, which is awfully sweet. Makes up for the incredible awkwardness today.

I ran out for some tasti-d-lite after lunch, and when i returned, I ran into one of the executive assistants in the elevator lobby. She said to come downstairs because they were having cake for this guy who is getting married on Sunday (I knew he was, we've chatted a few times). So, totally without thinking, I said "me too!" and went downstairs because I couldn't exactly get out of it. Of course, word spread to the HR people who organized it, and they felt really bad that they threw one person a party and not both of us. They apologized and said "we didn't even know...and Neil's been here so long..." and I was totally gracious and told them not to think about it for a second, I was just happy to be able to share the fun with someone.

Of course, it was really awkward and I wish I had just come back a few minutes later and avoided the whole scene. Or had the ability to shut my mouth when she said his wedding was Sunday. But really, it's a totally natural thing to say. On June 3rd, if someone said it was their birthday, I'd say "me too!" too. Anyway, I am more excited about the team lunch with people who really care about me than the corporate-sponsored party with a ton of people I've never met coming for free cake.

We got a tremendous box from Bloomingdale's today. Big enough to fit a baby in, if you weren't too careful about the cushioning (I don't know why, but I keep using that analogy - am I sick?). Inside was a lot of paper and... a pizza cutting wheel. Which was indeed on our registry. It took several minutes of confusion to discover the packing slip on the floor next to all the paper, telling us that the friend who sent it had also bought us the tart plate off our registry. This was funny on so many levels - the giant box for the tiny gift, the fact that at first we thought someone really got us a pizza cutter as a wedding gift, and, only to me, the knowledge that this particular (male) friend certainly picked the tart plate very intentionally. Hehehe.

Ryan's sister says not to sweat his mother, and that she will behave. Good.

I am disjointed today. Sorry.

I stopped by to see our florist today (right down the block, pass him on the way home) and got sent home with such a beautiful peony. I think I'll go snap a picture.



Doesn't quite do it justice. But that's what I am going to have in my bridal bouquet, along with cream sweetpeas (typo fixed after Alison pointed out that I wrote "sweatpeas" - eeew). My florist is also working on getting snowberries, which I requested, but he's not sure if that will work. I'm excited about the flowers. It's been so fun to work with them, and they have been really inspired by my ideas, they said. Lots of wheatgrass with pretty fleurs. You'll see later.

Oh my! I wonder if I can make this fabulous skirt between now and Sunday. It would be so cute in Hawaii! Damn!

Lots of wedding progress this weekend. I am marrying the most fabulous guy ever. He has been so helpful in the past weeks, since he's finished his thesis. He's made our adorable programs, neato menu cards, and has been running lots of errands and stuff. He even offered to go buy me the yarn for this skirt! I wonder if Knitting Hands has it?

Oh, who am I fooling? That is NOT going to happen!

I got what I felt was a very impersonal birthday card from Ryan's mother yesterday. It was a jokey card, and was just signed "love, Ryan's Mom." OK, she wrote love, but she didn't write "Dear Betsy," or any other words on the whole page. It made me sad. And it made me angry. It made Ryan sad. And me getting angry made him angry. Nothing good can come of this, unfortunately.

I also realized that talking about it makes me feel worse. I think I need to just put it out of my mind. I know too much about how she feels to make that easy, but if I dwell on it, I am only going to get angrier and more hurt. And that's not how I want to feel on my wedding day. Or any other day, for that matter. So, I am going to try and call a moratorium on talking about her, in hopes that it will just fade a bit in my mind.

I'm meeting my maid of honor today to give her the very last of the bridesmaid tops. Yay! I still can't believe I actually finished such a tremendous project. I can't wait to have pictures of everyone wearing them for you guys!

This weekend we have to figure out our seating plan and print our programs. They are so cute! Ryan is so handy at that sort of thing. OK, that's not a shock, considering he used to be an art director. But still, it's so nice that he's good at stuff like that. I do the writing, he does the art, and we each consult on the other's work. Kinda how we met and fell in love, now that I think of it.

I think I'll take that happy thought with me, as I go spend the day surfing the web and taking a looooong lunch.

Gee, this is just what every girl needs 10 days before her wedding. An impromptu meeting in the President/CEO's office that starts "I wish we were gathered her for Betsy's bridal shower, but we all know that's not the case..." Well, the client I have been working on since November has officially jumped ship to another agency.

It's a long ugly story that starts in September of last year when the senior account and creative people decided to break off and form their own agency. As soon as their noncompete was up (3 months I think at the time) they started working with our client. To make the long story short, it has been contentious for a while between our agency and the client, and even though the agency has a very strong relationship with the company, and several other of their brands are totally solid here, it wasn't working. So, we've all been walking on eggshells, and at least now it's over.

She reassured us that we have a generous termination clause with the client, a big push for new business, and plenty of work throughout the agency, so that at least for now, everyone is safe. Just yesterday, our big boss had reassured me (in response to me joking about doing something that would get me canned) that I wouldn't be let go on her watch. Let's hope that's true.

At this point, 10 days out, I can't be any more tightly wound than I already am, so I am hardly noticing the increase in blood pressure and heart rate. I suppose when the blood vessels start bursting, I'll take some notice.

Yesterday was a nice, peaceful birthday. And I got a wonderful present from my sweetheart!

Yes, that is the Canon PowerShot S230 3.2MP Digital ELPH Camera w/ 2x Optical Zoom. It's so cute, and so little - about the size of a pack of cigarettes. I actually just had to go fact-check that statement by finding a colleague who smokes. It is almost exactly the same size, just a few mm thicker. I will be so psyched to have it on my honeymoon! I've wanted a small digital camera like this for a while, but didn't actually expect to receive it. Yay Ryan! Yay me!

We're almost done with the wedding programs. I wrote them a while ago, and Ryan's been tweaking the layout. They are really adorable. Simple, but with a cute little twist. I'll try and get a picture sometime.

I'm on hold with the yarmulke people trying to fix the error in Ryan's last name. The "P" after the apostrophe should be upper case but came in lower case. Small error, but still an error. The woman I am talking to has an odd clipped accent that I can't place. She just said we should have the new ones Tuesday or Wednesday. OK, that's good.

Spoke to the photographer this morning. He wants us all to meet at the Garden by 9:15 the day of the wedding. Oy. I dread telling my bridesmaids that. Well, actually only my maid of honor, who has been whining about having to get there. Fuck off, it's your best friend's wedding, you can drag your sorry ass out of the house early for once, since you haven't done anything else to help with this thing.

Bitter much, Betsy?

I have been a lazy little blogger, haven't I? Resting on my bridesmaid top laurels, I suppose.

Now I'm just whoring for attention because it is my birthday! I just had a yummy cheesecake here at work, and tonight Ryan is taking me to Joe's Shanghai for soup dumplings. Yum!

Very excited to hear the good news about Shetha's new baby! He is just the most darling little pumpkin. Follow the links to the pics and you can see how cute Mom looks so soon after giving birth. Yay Shetha!

12 days and counting 'til the wedding. Ryan is finishing laying out our programs. I'm letting everyone know when/where the rehearsal (except there's no rehearsal since it's a Jewish wedding) dinner is. My dress is finally all done and will be picked up by my parents a day or two before the wedding. All but one bridesmaid has her tank top, and I will remedy that situation this week. Bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts are purchased, just need to be wrapped. The imprinted yarmulkes came with Ryan's last name misspelled (apparently they don't get a lot of Irish names with apostrophes!) but they said they can fix it no problem and get it to us in time since they are in Brooklyn, too.

A few other details remain, like picking readers for each of the seven blessings. Asked one person, need to ask six more. Dunno why we left this 'til the end. It's only a few sentences at most, and it's not like people need to memorize anything.

I ordered the yarn from Knitting Hands for the ocean-themed baby blanket for Lisa's new baby. They said it will be about a week. That means I can start it on my honeymoon, and it should be done in time for his christening at the end of August. Yay!

Well, I figured out the mitred corners. After I put the whole neck on a circular needle, I needed to put markers in each of the corners, which I realized, but which was not mentioned in the pattern. Once I figured that out, the whole thing was a piece of cake. Mmm, cake.

So, do you realize what this means?

I AM FINISHED!!!!

Yes, each top has been knitted, finished, and has a cute little label sewn in the back of the neck.

Since the last one is the closest to my size, here I am modeling it for you.





Here are three of the four - the fourth one is already safe at home with Leanne. I think it worked out nicely that all three bridesmaids wanted a v-neck, and the maid of honor wanted a square neck. (Also please note our groovy new Hawaiian-print bedding in this shot!)



And just because it's so cute, here's the label I sewed inside each one. (I got them from Charm Labels in case you want to order some yourself.)



Now what? Do I dare start on the cute ocean-themed baby blanket I am going to make for Lisa's new son? Aha, first I have to buy yarn. Looks like it's TV time for me tonight!

I'm having trouble with the stupid mitred corners on the neckband of the last bridesmaid top, which is a square neck. Urgh. I think I just need to pull out the 2 rows I did and try it again, being a bit more careful this time. If that doesn't work, be prepared for the cry for help!

Yesterday we brought Ryan's tux to be tailored, and then went to see the Matrix Reloaded. I enjoyed it, though some of the action scenes just felt a little gratuitous and I am just not buying the romance between the two emotionally bankrupt stars. Still, it was a thought-provoking and highly entertaining flick and I will certainly look forward to seeing the final part of the trilogy at Christmastime.

After that I went and had a trial of my wedding hair. Verdict is: guilty! OK, he did this loose curly updo that I thought was very pretty, and when I met Ryan afterwards (sans veil and headpiece) his whole body language and tone just said "eh." It was pretty awful. This is the guy who thinks I'm hot when I stick my hair up in a big clip, so for him to have such a lukewarm reaction to a professional 'do was stunning and devastating. Especially since it's my wedding hair. Normally I'm not that concerned (maybe because normally he thinks I'm gorgeous) but this really threw me into the dumps for the evening. Not sure what I'll do, but I have an appointment for a trim on Wednesday (same hairdresser) so I guess we will discuss then.

Still freezing here at 53 degrees. I can't believe this is Memorial Day weekend. We've had some pretty lame weather for this weekend other years, usually when I have beach plans, but this takes the cake. It really sucks. I think we're cleaning the house today, then tonight we've got dinner plans with some friends at a Brazilian rodizio restaurant - meat, meat, and then some more meat!

Whew, what a busy few days. I am finally settling down enough to post.

So, I woke up Sunday with plans to go out to Leanne's house for a late lunch and a yarn sale in Port Jefferson. I also woke up with a raging migraine, a sore throat, and a giant zit on my chin. Oh, and suspicions that this was really not a yarn sale, which I think I mentioned before. I felt so awful that I was dreading the possibility of it being a shower. Before I got in the shower, I actually told Ryan that if this was my bridal shower I would kill myself.

Well, when I walked in the door and everyone shouted "SURPRISE!" I didn't pull out the shotgun and off myself, but I did cry. I choked up on and off for the first hour. It was just overwhelming. Lisa and her mother drove down from Albany, leaving Lisa's hub alone with the newborn that they just adopted 2 weeks ago. They must've gotten up at 5am to be there. I was SO touched that they were there! I would've totally understood if she couldn't have made it, but it meant so much to me that she did. Most of my friends were there, and some of my cousins, particularly my cousin Jill, whose birthday it was. That was really sweet of her to be there even on her birthday. Ryan even surprised me by taking the train (since I had the car) and a cab there. Poor guy took almost 2 hours to get there, so the ladies voted to let him stay, which was really nice. My Dad was there, too, so he wasn't the only boy anymore.

The food was amazing. Leanne outdid herself with a full brunch buffet including finger sandwiches, poached salmon, cheese plate, mini quiches with shiitake mushrooms and swiss chard, and a nice salad. Then she put on a full dessert buffet! This AMAZING cake was the centerpiece.



Then there were all my favorites - candied orange peel, truffles, mini blueberry tarts, baby meringues with rasberries and blueberries, and some other things I didn't even get to try, I was so stuffed!!

Lots of presents, but hopefully not so many that everyone was bored to tears. We got some stuff that was on our registries, and some other cool stuff. One person gave us the really beautiful platter from our china set. And my cousin Barbara made us a "Mazel Tov" pillow with the glass inside it already for when Ryan breaks the glass at the ceremony. That was really sweet and touching.

After the party was over came the most amazing part, to me. Leanne tried on the purple top and the purple skirt, and it looked amazing! Really really good. I nearly fainted dead away with happiness. Check it out yourself!




All in all, the day started HORRIBLY and ended well. Now it's time to start writing "thank you" notes. Wheee!!

Thanks, Anne, Alison, Charlotte, Dawn, Kim, Kay, Ginger, and Yarnguy for your kind words, and your commiseration on my future-MIL issues. I hesitated to talk about them here because I didn't want Ryan to feel bad reading this but I think he'll understand I need to vent. And the more people who say nice things, the better I feel. I'm sure someday this will work out, and in the meantime, distance is a beautiful thing, as many of you have pointed out. And if she shows up to our wedding in black mourning clothes, it'll only reflect sadly on her.

I'm nearing the finish line with the bridesmaid tops! A few more inches and I'll be at the armhole of the last one. The first three were all the same size and v-neck, this one is a size smaller and a square neck. Wow, that square neck is so much easier to knit! No decreases to worry about every other row - just knit 17 stitches, throw 36 on a holder, knit another 17 all the way up to the shoulder. The back went very quickly once I got to the neck shaping.

It'll be such a joy to have finished all those tops in time. It turns out I will have enough yarn left over to make myself something, but I think I'll put that on the back burner for now. I am seeing purple varigated silk in my sleep at the moment. Plus I want to make something for Lisa's baby! I'm thinking of the baby blanket in last Spring/Summer's issue of Family Circle Easy Knitting. It's an ocean scene with fish and a whale, and red and white stripes in the sky. I really like intarsia, though I know others who hate it. I enjoy seeing the pictures develop as I knit, and I think it's particularly cute for baby things.

The only thing that's irking me about this pattern is that I looked up the selected yarn online, and the colors that are specified do not all look like the colors in the photo of the blanket. So far I haven't found anyplace that carries the yarn locally, so I have had to look at them online. If anyone has the magazine, take a look and let me know if you think these colors are "off." Maybe it's the monitor I am using here at work? The colors that look really off are the yellow (maize - 3546), green (pale slate - 3774), and color charts are here or here

I really enjoyed "The Producers" last night. Very funny, ridiculous, and over-the-top. Ryan enjoyed it, too, but his mother very clearly did not. Oh well. She's leaving for home this morning, with no resolution. Actually, there's far more animosity and bitterness than before. Screw political correctness, here's the salient points of the story.

Before this weekend, we got along fine, though I have sensed for a long time that she isn't ecstatic about Ryan and I. That died when she asked on Sunday afternoon whether we had a prenuptial agreement, and then proceeded to tell us that we need one. (Obviously to protect Ryan, not me.) Any chance I had of warming up to her died at that moment. There are so many levels of wrong with that conversation, I can't even begin to describe them all (and wouldn't need to, to a sane person.)

I feel really sorry for Ryan in all this. Sure, it's hard on me to know my future mother-in-law thinks her son is making a mistake by marrying me. But in the end, she's nothing to me other than his mother. I love my crazy mother and don't need another. It'd be great to have a good relationship with my husband's mother, but if I don't, she lives far away and it doesn't make much difference on a daily basis.

For him, though, this is his mother, and she's forcing him away by criticizing his choice to marry me. By being irrational, she's also putting him in the middle and making him choose whether to be loyal to her or to me. That's not fair. Even if I were a hateful bitch, she should respect that he loves me and not tell him that he is making the biggest mistake of his life by marrying me.

It's all very sad. None of us needs this additional stress 32 days before our wedding. I honestly never imagined it would come to this sort of nastiness.

I'm a little woozy at the moment after donating a pint of blood after lunch. Last time I did that (10 years ago) was a disaster, but today it went fine. I'd just prefer to be home on the sofa.

Unfortunately, I have to go out to the theater tonight. Ryan's mother is in town and we have tickets to see "The Producers" on Broadway. I'm looking forward to the show, but wish it weren't tonight!

The reason Ryan's mother is here is for his graduation, which was yesterday. Yes, my dear fiance has earned his Masters of Fine Arts! I'm so proud of him. I couldn't go to graduation, because it was in the middle of the day yesterday and I couldn't take a vacation day. But since he wasn't planning on going until his Mom said she wanted to go, he was OK with me not being there.

This visit from the future mother-in-law has not been all that pleasant. It appears that she is having the typical cliche issues about "losing" her "little boy." I will be politically correct and not go into details (she never reads this anyway, but just to be safe) but it is obvious that she is not in support of our marriage, and she has said a few things (some to both of us, some just to him) that have hurt me very deeply. It's pretty sad. But, she's wrong, and we're going to have a happy marriage and a wonderful life, whether she believes so or not.

Not much time to post, as I have to head out to my friend Kate's bachelorette party, but I had to get in a quickie update. I tried on the dress today and proceeded to hug the seamstress. She worked a miracle and the dress fits, and looks just as if it were made that way. I can hardly believe it! The relief is overwhelming. She also is going to make the bustle for the skirt exactly the way I wanted it - very smooth and not poufy. This woman is amazing!

OK, off to go have fun. At least I can drink happily, rather than drowning my sorrows!

Jeez, it's Friday morning and all I can think about is how nervous I am for my dress fitting tomorrow. I just can't shake the feeling that it will be a second disaster and I am going to be the Brooklyn Botanic Garden's very first nude bride.

Well, that would be a wedding to remember, wouldn't it? Good way to show off the workout results.

Quickie update - I have an appointment at 4pm on Saturday to try my dress on post-alteration. We'll see. I spoke with some sort of district manager today who said try it on Saturday, and if I am not happy, they will explore "alternative options." We'll see what happens, and cross your fingies in the meantime!

Also, it turns out the gift was NOT stolen. The Fedex guy delivered it, then returned a bit later because he decided it wasn't safe to have left it. Then he came back today. Wacky. You'll be pleased to know that I called Red Envelope back and had them re-charge my account. Maybe the good karma from that will balance out the dress nightmare.

I am so pissed off right now. My Mom's Mother's Day gift was stolen! The building we live in has eight apartments, and a locked lobby, but packages have been stolen before. I ordered something really cute from redenvelope.com, and the Fedex tracking says it was delivered, left without signature, yesterday afternoon. When we got home, there were three UPS packages, but no Fedex. I called redenvelope this morning and they credited my account, but they are out of the gift I ordered, so they can't get me a new one.

I am SO annoyed! I was so happy to have found just the right thing, without hauling my ass all around town. And now it's pretty much too late to order anything online without paying ridiculous overnight shipping costs, so I am going to have to haul the aforementioned ass ANYWAY.

GRRRRRRRRR!

The rest of yesterday went better than that, at least. I went with Diana, my maid of honor, to pick up her bridesmaid skirt. It was painless, and when we took it outside and looked at the color of the skirt with the color of the bridesmaid tank, it looked great! I had been sweating that a bit, since we had such a small swatch to go on, but at least that worked out well.

I also went and picked up my veil on the way back from lunch. I think if I were to work in the bridal industry, selling veils would be the best job. No one ever puts on a veil, says "eeeeeew, it makes me look so fat!" and bursts into tears. Generally, they put it on, look in the mirror, and say "wow, I look like a bride!" And that's exactly what I did.