It'll be because all the "that took 5 years off my life" moments these children have given me have finally added up to shorten my life expectancy down to the present day.
There's a window in the girls' room, over their bed. They really aren't tall enough to sit in it if the bottom is opened, but I still never let it stay open at the bottom - I only open it from the top, which is virtually impossible for them to reach and fall out of, without some serious Cirque du Soleil action. Still, I worry sometimes.
Like today, when I came out of the shower, and heard Katie saying quietly and sadly "my stistah...my stistah...my stistah..." and I see that she's sitting alone on the bed. I immediately looked at the window, and the screen was intact, nothing had changed at all, but my heart still jumped.
Then Lilly popped out from under the covers and said "Here I am!" and they both laughed maniacally. I ran back into my room and tried not to cry.
Did some laundry today in the basement. There are still fleas down there. Goddamned fucking fleas. Not as many as before, that's for sure. But they are still there. On the upside, our basement floor is the cleanest its ever been, what with us having to vacuum down there every single day. We're also supporting the Eureka vacuum bag industry, what with having to throw out the vacuum bag after each vacuuming, lest some fleas should escape and lay more eggs in my home.