Sometimes the thought comforts me. Mostly in the middle of a tantrum, or when I have to lie in their bed for 45 minutes (starving because I decided not to eat dinner with them and wait for Ryan because I thought they'd go to bed easily and early) to get them to go to sleep. Or when they freak out about brushing their teeth, or I have a night where they wake me up 4 times between midnight and 7am.
But the rest of the time, it makes me ache. Because along with all those trials, some of my favorite things will pass. The feeling of a plump, bouncy little cheek smooshed up against mine. Getting 15 kisses, on the mouth, when I ask for one. Waking up in the morning (even after the 4 times) and having two little bodies wiggling around and snuggling with me.
It drives me crazy when I am trying to unload the dishwasher, or cook a meal, or just get a little computer time, and they won't leave me alone. A hundred requests for this and that. All I want is a break!
But someday that break is going to come, and when it does, that will be it. There's no other baby waiting in the wings for me to snuggle--they're a one-shot-deal. And in a few years, they're going to be young women, with their own lives, their own interests, and no smooshy cheeks for me. How am I supposed to reconcile with that?