Quickie update - I have an appointment at 4pm on Saturday to try my dress on post-alteration. We'll see. I spoke with some sort of district manager today who said try it on Saturday, and if I am not happy, they will explore "alternative options." We'll see what happens, and cross your fingies in the meantime!
Also, it turns out the gift was NOT stolen. The Fedex guy delivered it, then returned a bit later because he decided it wasn't safe to have left it. Then he came back today. Wacky. You'll be pleased to know that I called Red Envelope back and had them re-charge my account. Maybe the good karma from that will balance out the dress nightmare.