Monday, May 05, 2003

There's a lot of whine coming up here in a few moments. But first I will share some joyful news, since it is ultimately far more important than the whine. My best friend Lisa and her husband are on their way right now to pick up their new son! They have been trying to conceive and trying to adopt for nearly two years, and finally their efforts are being rewarded. Alexander Peter (last name omitted) was born late last week, and they got to meet him on Friday. He stayed with a foster family for the weekend and right now they are probably bundling him into a car seat.

I am so ecstatic over this news! I can hardly describe my joy at knowing that their deepest wish has been fulfilled. They are both such wonderful people and will be fantastic parents. I wish I could start knitting him a present right now, but that'll have to wait until post-wedding, I think. Anyway, little Alex is a very lucky boy and I can't wait to meet him! In the meantime, I can content myself with pictures such as this one.

If you want to linger on that happy feeling, go away now. The rest of this post is pure whine.

All along this planning route, there have been some minor setbacks, but nothing's really gotten me down. The rabbi canceling (we got a new one who we love), the guest list hassles (all finally sorted), the seeming impossibility of the jeweler to make my wedding band the right way...all within the realm of "it sucks but it'll get worked out." But this finally got to me.
Here's a refresher course on the dress: Found it in August, at a trunk show. The sample was my size, fit me perfectly - hem it, adjust the straps, and I could've gotten married that Tuesday. Loved it, ordered it, and they said it'd be in by January. January comes and goes, and they now tell me they order it to be in a reasonable number of weeks before the wedding, rather than a time period after you order it. So fine, it'll be in end of March. End of March comes, they tell me it's in. I come to visit it, and it turns out the computer said it's in, but it wasn't actually physically in the store. Urgh. Two hours (there and back) wasted in traffic. Turns out there was some dirt or something on the dress the factory was going to send, so they had to get or make a new one.
End of April, the dress is in. They tell me come for a fitting in mid-May but I decide that's too late so I make an appointment for Saturday. I go there, excited to see it after 9 months. I'm thinking it might need to be taken in a touch, since I've been working out and noticing some of my clothes are a bit looser these days. She puts it over my head and reaches for the closure at the waist, and ::ouch:: that's tight! She barely closes it and I feel like I am going to suffocate.
Then we try the bodice. There's about 3 inches of Betsy at the top that is just never going to fit in there - no WAY is that thing closing. And no WAY is it the same size as the sample I tried on. I keep my cool, they get the seamstress, she opens the lining and pronounces that there is enough seam allowance to let it out. Great. But why the fuck is my dress at least two sizes smaller than I ordered? The sample was a 6 - this would have to stretch to be a 2!
So, now, even though I KNOW it's the dress, and totally their fault, I feel like a giant cow. Which is ludicrous, I know - I am nowhere near it, but I feel it now. I am no longer excited about my dress, which I have adored from afar for an entire human gestational period. I feel like the alterations are going to be a compromise, and the dress will never look the way the sample did. I feel like why even fucking bother? At this point, 6 weeks away, I don't have a wearable dress OR a wearable wedding band (in case you missed that story, they made one that didn't match the band of my engagement ring because the diamonds were the wrong size, then they made a second in which the diamonds are OK but the band is thicker than my engagement ring, which they have had for 2 weeks in order to model the wedding band off of it. Argh).
I never expected to be one of those brides who cracks up and loses it 6 weeks before the wedding. I've been really calm, and really good up to now. Even with the pressure I've put on myself by knitting the bridesmaids tops (three down, one to go - and I saved the smallest size for last - it'll feel even faster!) Many of my friends and family have made comments to that effect. So in addition to being miserable, I am ashamed of my own feelings.  Great.

I will be calling the bridal salon manager later today to find out how the fuck they are going to explain the dress faux pas, and to make sure I am not paying for the alterations other than the hem, since that's all it was supposed to need. Then I'll carry on, but I don't know if I will be able to regain the excitement I once had. And that really sucks.

See? I told you there was a lot of whine here.

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